we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
based on who turned up here tonight the whole evening should just be called "mistakes i made when i was fat"
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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