she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
This house was built for laser tag.
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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