you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
