He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Randomize
