just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Welp just pooped in a garbage can. Guess I'm not better than you at life in any aspect.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
All I can taste is Pickle Juice and Cocaine.
Randomize
