I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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