how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
