I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
