we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
