YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
Where are you?
In a non slutty way
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Randomize
