I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Randomize