nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
the girl next to me in class is drinking a margarita out of a slurpee cup. i know your going to ask how i know its a margarita and the answer is i can smell the tequila. i never want to leave this place
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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