I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I called the bar to ask if they found my Id and credit card and they remembered me as 'the girl who signed her receipt in blood'
i spelled "betch" that way on purpose, don't question my abilities as a drunk texter
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
