the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
Randomize
