the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
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