what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
She grinded so hard on my face that I've got rugburn on both eyelids
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
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