piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
