She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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