Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
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