We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
I sent the random girl I had sex with last night a 'happy mothers day' text as a reminder to get the morning after pill.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
