Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
Randomize
