i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
I came home to the cats covered in paint and he was asleep in the tub with a firefighters hat on.
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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