He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I can't see straight with both eyes and ive only been at the bar for an hour. Someone else typed this for me.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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