How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I just remembered that last night when we tried to walk off the spins you said "pretend i'm your pet dinosaur" so i walked you around on an invisible leash while you made t-rex hissing noises.
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
you went up to him and asked if you could have "friend sex." He looked like a 7 year old on christmas morning
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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