He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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