let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
After so many times of carrying your puked covered clothes home in a bag on a Tuesday morning, you begin to realize that Fucked Up Mondays aren't a real thing.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
Randomize
