Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
What's the rule on cocaine before dinner?
Its 11 o'clock somewhere
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
