Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Imagine cans of beer raining. Like not hitting you and hurting you. Just gently falling into your hand whenever you're sad
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Randomize
