evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
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