I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
It's a gay bachelor party, it's not like dignity is to be expected
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
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