If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
The feeling are messing with the penis
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
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