don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
Randomize
