and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
There was a woman who drank mouth wash to get drunk during her supposed detox...this is def the internship for me!
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