She is in my trunk
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
