My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
Randomize
