...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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