im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
