I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
Yea... you were given too many get out of jail free cards. God just gave up on you having a healthy and happy vagina.
I just made the answer to all my security questions "fuck you" with various levels of ! marks. I may regret this in the morning.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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