I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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