Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Randomize
