worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
you fell asleep spooning with his golden retriever. im not sure if thats more degrading for you or the dog
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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