After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Randomize
