I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
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