You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Yeah come over whenever. Weed gets here at 8.
I'll be there at 7:59.
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
