I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wish they made helmets for livers.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
