Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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