Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
Randomize
