Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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