Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
It was the highest I'd ever been. I felt like a blob. A blob eating a burrito.
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
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