My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
You know you're an adult when you break 100 to get 75 cents, to buy a condom from a bar vending machine in South Boston.
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
Actually I really wish that I was drinking so I could ask him for breakup sex and then later blame it on my alcoholic tendencies. Maybe tomorrow instead.
Randomize