what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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