He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
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