Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
The maid of honor just puked.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Girl, he can't tell you not to take a bump just because you work tomorrow. You're on a wedding diet, remember?
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
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