If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
When I go to hand him the blunt and he's eating a cookie and responds with "let me hit this cookie"
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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