found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
You were mounting an escalator last night, shouting "I have no health insurance" at people
I found him CRAWLING across the garden. He saw me,smiled,and asked for a napkin.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
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