What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Well right now I am watching him use the fire extinguisher off the pourch.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I'm gay. Congratulations to whoever had January 2014 in their pool.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Randomize
