You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
i woke up this morning and saw her in my bed and i said to myself, I think I might have a drinking problem.
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
Randomize
