yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
