Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
what day is it and did you see me today?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
