did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
WHO CARES HE GIVES YOU TOE CURLING ORGASMS AND SAYS YOU HAVE KISSABLE SKIN AND RUNWAY MODEL HAIR....WHILE INTOXICATED WITH HIS BEST FRIEND. AND THEN HE SENDS YOU CUTE SELFIES OF THEM!!!!!!! WTF MORE DO YOU WANT FROM LIFE!!! DIE HAPPY ALREADY LADY!!!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
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