is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Dude walks in wearing jean shorts and a graphic tshirt and goes home with an attractive female. EXPLAIN YOURSELF UNIVERSE.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
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