You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
I got inside last night via doggy door
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
