Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
