So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
