I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
i need some magic done to my vagina
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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