shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
awkward like he asked me out for a "rest of the summer make out buddy" thing and I kind of had a female testicle retreat moment
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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