I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
That feels better than graduating college or that time I tried to ride a llama. Did you know they really spit?
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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