I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
You said that about some fat chick sitting on the base of a lamp post and puking. Downright heroic.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
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