what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
What's the name of that girl you hooked up with? The one that looks like the fire hose sign.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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