I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Randomize
