I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
pop tarts are not kleenex
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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