you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Good afternoon everyone! Just texting to inform you that Andrew, your emotionally detached man-whore, will be back starting this weekend. Please RSVP.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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