they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
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